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The trip is set now as we prepare the Starship Excellent Adventure for launch! All systems are nominal (with the exception of the price of gasoline, thanks to that fucking big titied orange dick and his gang of psychopaths). The route has been laid out with the stops listed below, somewhat in order after a few changes.
The initial leg will take us through perhaps my least favorite part of this beautiful country I have explored. I will stay in the Dallas area for a couple of days, a first as in the past I have opted to make my way through Texas as quickly as possible!
I will keep this page updated as we go with links to the blog pages. The current plan is to stay out for 73 nights. This might change depending on who is where in July.
- 73 Nights
- 40 Stops
- 8191 mi
T-Zero
Day 1
We launched at exactly 6:01 a.m. EDT (I looked at my watch). This first leg was the longest of any of the planned days’ travels. Normally, I would stop by and visit Panama City, but no one was home. So, zero-dark thirty, we head out!
No traffic delays, we made good time to our first stop at Falling Waters State Park on I-10 north of Panama City, arriving around 2PM CDT. We had to fill up twice today – yikes! The second time it was nearly $100 for a tank of mid-range. I guess this is shades of things to come.
Falling Waters State Park, Florida
This little gem is located near the town of Chipley.
It offers a variety of outdoor recreation and is the site for Florida’s highest waterfall (73 feet!). The campground is situated on one of the highest spots in Florida at 324 feet.
As an interesting piece of history, the area was the site of Florida’s only oil well. Dug in the 1920, the drilled almost 5,000 feet before declaring the enterprise a bust!
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Day 2
Day 2’s drive started as expected – pretty much unmemorable. The drive through Mobil, pretty familiar now after three trips, was uneventful until I started the final leg to Hattiesburg. For whatever reason, the navigation chose a slightly different (and newer) route through fuck-all-nowhere! Obviously meant as an alternative to truck traffic, except no fucking gas stations! I was down to 22 miles left in the reserve tank before finally finding a gas station and unloading another $100.
I stayed here on the 2021 trip. A nice KOA Holiday with the campsites arranged an lake with alligators. We had a couple of nice walks.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Day 3
We embarked on a rather lengthy 300 mile drive through Mississippi and into Louisiana, navigating through some truly dreadful roads. The scenery was pleasant but rather monotonous, and the abundance of Baptist churches was simply overwhelming for a Pastafarian like myself. Seriously, folks?
Turns out that Mississippi and Louisiana both rank as the worst driving hazards and highest risk of fatalities. When it gets bad like that, I drive as slow as I can and pray shit isn’t flying all over the place in the trailer!
We stopped for a confusing visit to see the Mississippi River at Vicksburg, Mississippi – which for the life of me I always thought was in Virginia. Seems like a good visit for a Civil War buff, which I am not. The confusing part was the seriously crappy road works and signage, together with my inept attempts to navigate with misbehaving electronic-fuckery. Probably didn’t help to stoke up on combustible volatiles beforehand either 😎!
The KOA Journey campground was predominantly occupied by long-term residents and a few very nice Class A motorhomes. It was situated quite close to Shreveport. It appears to be an old oil town that has unfortunately declined and now stands as a crime-ridden and deteriorating city. I’m not particularly interested in visiting.
Dallas
Day 4 & 5
Our leisurely 230-mile trip to the campground north of Dallas came to an abrupt end about 1/2 way through Dallas. It appears that the entire north side of Dallas is under massive – and I mean massive – roadwork. Seriously, redirected lanes like raking your tires across dull razor blades while the stuff in the trailer flies around all over the fucking place. Big fun.
Not to be outmatched by the stunning overpasses— some five levels high. Made the interchanges in Atlanta look like child’s play. I can only imagine what this whole fucking mess looks like during rush hour!
The campground is nestled within a sprawling RV dealership situated on the back lot. The area boasts a well-maintained gravel, grass, and concrete surface, with minimal trees. There are numerous activities to keep the family entertained. I can imagine that during peak RV season, the campground would be bustling with large motor coaches. After a strenuous day battling the windmills, I indulged in a refreshing and invigorating long hot shower.
The Grassy Knoll
I was in second grade. In the classrooms at Freedom 7, there was a large, square speaker on the wall high up above a window. We were used to hearing stuff from it, although for the life of me, I can only remember what they said once. We were told that our President had been assassinated, but everything was OK because they had a backup.
I remember I didn’t understand what it meant. Is the United States in trouble? Maybe this is why they did drills and told us to get under our desks. The little girl next to me started crying and put her head down on the desk. So vivid the memory.
It was much more enclosed than I expected. Once I saw it in relationship to the old school book depository it all made sense. For some reason I always thought the shooter was further away. Or was he?
That afternoon we chilled out in the breezy weather and had a shot at my latest percussive find. My favorite electronic percussion company, Roland, which I have unloaded many wads of cumbersome cash, recently introduced this marvel. Handpans (originally called Hang, I believe) have been popular for several years now and are famously expensive. They sound beautiful and are tuned to be easy to play. The Mood Pan expands on it by adding different tunings, instruments (for example, didgeridoos), background sounds, effects, trigger effects and a bluetooth enabled link to a iPhone app. Welcome to the modern world ~ Big fun and just the right size for RV travel.
Amarillo, Texas
Day 6
Long drive through pretty Texas Hill Country until I started seeing oil wells, and then it went to shit. It got worse the closer I got to Amarillo as the winds kicked up to what we back home would call a Gale (not the one I was married to but close). Winds now gusting to 40!
The winds were ferocious, and we huddled in the trailer as it periodically shuddered. We turned the A/C on low and went to bed.
Albuquerque, NM
Day 7
When I went to bed the night before, it was 90F in the trailer, so I turned the A/C on low. Several hours later, I woke up, teeth chattering, only to find the temperature dropped 40 degrees in a matter of hours! To make it even more interesting, the wind was still blowing 35 mph when I had to hook up and dump the black and gray water tanks before heading out. I about froze – good thing I packed warm weather clothing like a good Boy Scout.
We join Route 66 today and follow it to tonight’s stop. What makes this convenient is that the road is now I-40 or closely follows it! Our plan was to stop at as many tourist spots along the way.
We arrived at the campground mid day. This is a repeat stay in what feels like a compound in a less than desirable place in town. However, to offset this they have a hot tub! A nice, really hot, hot tub that I used twice!
Flagstaff
Day 8, 9 & 10
The wind picked up overnight so we skedaddled out of there to continue our exploration of Route 66 on the way to Flagstaff. I regret not getting in the hot tub before we left.
We stopped by Petrified Forest National Park for a quick visit. I had toured the area in the 1990s and didn’t want to spend much time there. I did want to see what happened, though, until I finally was able to trade in my three Senior Passes for a Lifetime Senior Pass. And fucking hooray for small miracles: the picture of the Giant Orange Turd was not on it!
We finally arrived at our first destination in Flagstaff for 3 nights. To welcome us here, the gas on the trailer malfunctioned, leaving us temporarily with no heat. Welcome to Arizona!
Dawn comes at 5 a.m.! This is my kind of town! However, my teeth are chattering. I finally warmed up after Jake demanded to go on a walk. Then off for a morning adventure.
At some point during our trip from Albuquerque, a part of my trailer vanished. Perhaps aliens were responsible, who knows? The reason I suspect aliens is that the gizmo holding the propane grill’s thingamajig broke off cleanly. Consequently, we had no heat this morning when the temperature was a bone-chilling 45 degrees Fahrenheit, and I was shivering.
Fortunately, I happen to be both handsome and handy! Captain Space Monkey can fix anything on a short space walk with his trusty roll of duct tape and some zip ties. It’s good that propane is very low pressure. Regardless, after the fix, I couldn’t smell a bit of the so pungent smell.
On our last day, we embarked on a journey south to Sedona. The drive took us through the breathtaking Oak Creek Canyon, offering a thrilling experience with stunning views at every turn. From there, we continued our drive through Sedona and onto the Red Rock Scenic Highway. This spectacular drive takes us past the iconic Cathedral Rock and through a truly awe-inspiring red rock canyon.
We chilled in the afternoon especially after a trip to the local dispensary!
I also booked a helicopter ride for my time at the Grand Canyon! Big Fun!
Grand Canyon
Days 11 – 14
Leisurely drive today to switch campgrounds to be closer to the park. From there we’ll visit the park and surrounding areas for the next four days.
I visited this place in 1992 while I was living in Colorado. The highlight of that trip was a hike to the canyon’s bottom, which was probably the most significant achievement of my inconsistent hiking career. I’m quite certain I suffered from mild heat stroke at the end of that hike, so I won’t be attempting that again!
Antelope Canyon
Days 15 & 16
When we were here on our first Excellent Adventure in 2021 the tours run by the Navajo people were shuttered for COVID. I am glad we made it back to find a plethora of options to tour the famous slot canyons.
Time Travel in the SouthWest
I learned traveling in Arizona on my first cross-country trip in 1978 that Arizonans rejected the silly notion of Daylight Savings Time when it was introduced. The Navajo people took it one step further for their land that lies inside the borders of Arizona.
The Navajo land in the Southwest is the source of a famous geographical time loop because the Navajo Nation observes Daylight Saving Time (DST), while the rest of Arizona does not. From March to November, this creates a complex "time donut" in northeastern Arizona where clocks switch back and forth over very short distances.
Authors Note: I, as a morning person, hate Daylight-Fucking-Savings-Time. Just when things are getting good, it gets dark again! WTF?
Off we go into the Time Loop! 😵💫
We arrived at the Antelope Point Marina to set up shop on a windy plateau (or is it butte?) with a stunning view of the surrounding desert and red rock buttes, mesas and plateaus! Whew!
Jake was left for a good morning sleep while I headed out for a 9:40AM tour of Upper Antelope Canyon. A Navajo guide drove us to the entrance is a super nice white suburban assault vehicle. Good thing too becuase they were either wash boards or deep shifty sands. Regardless, we made it there and toured the canyon.
I headed back to Excellent adventure and hung out with my little buddy in the afternoon. We drove into Page and checked out this little town built on the base of one of America’s favorite recreation spots.
We head to Bryce Canyon in the morning, where it is supposed to be 45° F in the morning!
Bryce Canyon
Days 17, 18 & 19
We headed out of Page with a full tank and refrigerator. On our way out of town, we stopped by the Lake Powell and Glen Canyon Dam Overlook. It was quite a walk and climb!
The days drive was stunning taking us next to the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument – a beautiful display of weathered sandstone, color and landscape. We then wound up the side of a plateau (I checked) to get to the campground at 7,500 feet! It is supposed to get below freezing tonight!
🥶
Bryce Canyon, contrary to its name, is not a canyon but rather a series of amphitheaters that house the renowned hoodoos, including the iconic Thor’s Hammer.
The next morning Jake got to sleep in again while I hooked up with another Trip Advisor tour group. Our guide, Oscar, was the owner of the business and was a hoot! A bit of a 21st Century Mountain Man, he took us to five spots in the park and told us all about the area and himself with a theatrical flair that made it all the more fun! Very enjoyable and learned a lot – most of which I have already forgotten!
I learned on the trip that Ruby City did not even exist until 2007. That put my mind at ease a little I the time I was here before I have no memory of this cluster-fuck. I learned about the families that owned the land – apparently no one even really knew about this place until the start of the 1900s. A smart dude bought it up and did some deal with the feds to put the park here. Controlling the entrance to the park, someone finally realized the gold mine this would be for visitors. And they were right!
We explored the area on our second day and did some housekeeping. Our trip to Red Canyon was nice with the exception of copious horse-turds which my son decided were Scooby-Snacks! He ran off once too. What’s a father to do?
End of Act I