There and Back Again Homepage
Act IV
Days 65 to ?: A visit to Wisconsin, then to the final stops in Indiana and Ohio, followed by The Big Drop to Panama City and the end of the trip.
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La Crosse, WI
Day 56 & 57
Time to visit the Grand Niblings! The drive across Minnesota was very corn-filled, you might say! Beautiful fields of the stuff reaching the horizon.
And then there’s the Jolly Green Giant! And don’t forget Sprout! They also have a great gift store that sells, among other things, cans of corn! Of course, they do!
We stopped at the border town of La Crescent to score some very expensive Herb. The store was aptly named Do Be Kind!
We arrived safely at Dr. Kari & Carl’s new palatial estate just down the street from their old house. Hung out with Georgie and Theo at the children’s museum (very cool!) and met MJ & Kate for a delicious dinner at a very nice French restaurant in town.
First Hand News!
Welcome to our first, and only, edition of first hand news. This is provided as a public service to anyone that truly gives a fuck.
It was reported to this reporter by a Confidential Source of impeccable honesty that the recent event that captured the imagination of Reality Media (e.g. ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, PBS, LMNOP, the list goes on forever...) in Washington, DC over the 4th of July, which the Source attended live, in person, etc., could be categorized as a very hot and humid event with nice booths manned by nice people representing their state, mostly nice attendees dealing with impending heat stroke, with authoritarian crowd control provided by assholes (I added this collective noun) from the Secret Service backed by a largely apathetic National Guard.
A truly miserable event.
There you have it.
The excellent adventure for the day was a visit to nearby Sparta, home of Mercury 7 astronaut Deke Slayton. It is also known for some less obvious reason as the bicycle capital of America! We visited a museum dedicated to his exploits combined with a collection of old bicycles. To top things off, we stopped by a ‘graveyard’ of fiberglass molds made for big sculptures and models that you might find in an amusement park. Truly weird!
We finished off at the Blue Collar Sports Bar with a killer burger and fries! Back home, we watched as the niblings left a trail of mayhem and mischief everywhere they go! I read Theo two whole books, which is quite an achievement for this old dude.
Next day, I took it easy and prepped the trailer for the final stretch. What a beautiful place they live in! Truly one of the nicest places I have had the pleasure of spending time in.
Last hang with the niblings.
What a great time we had! Both Theo and Georgie are the two lovey-ist kids I’ve ever known! Theo was very interested in everything, and I could understand him if I listened really hard about 20% of the time. Maybe I should get a hearing aid for the next time! Georgie just babbles, but you can tell she understands everything and is starting to speak them. Carl is running himself ragged – wait until this time next year!
Until Next Time!
Oakdale, WI
Day 58
A nearby stop on the trip to our next spot – Indiana Dunes National Park.
Blazing fast internet! Other than that, right next to the fucking interstate. Moving on…
Union, IL
Day 59
Short trip today downstream to the outskirts of Chicago. While looking at the route, I noticed that I would be near one of my old work haunts in Schaumburg. I was once forced by the CEO of the company I was working for at the time to dress up as fucking Batman to rally the sales force to sell our piece of shit product SolidTools I got strapped with after the VDS merger. Uh-huh!
The campground is nice – nowhere near a fucking interstate and very pretty. Right on the outer edge of the Chicago suburbs. Lot’s of beautiful grassy areas with tent campers and RVs alike.
Woke up to a full campground. Jake got me up at one point when he heard fireworks. Not too much of that so far thank you very much.
Indiana Dunes, IN
Day 60 & 61
Michigan City, actually, but I like Indiana Dunes as a better description otherwise everyone will think this is in Michigan. Speaking of which, I determined if we drive 10 miles northeast we will actually be in Michigan. This means at the end of the trip that Jake will have visited all 48 contiguous states. How about that!
Before leaving Illinois, I stopped at the nearby dispensary. I was surprised after hearing earlier that the Herb experience was subpar here. No way, Buckaroo! Great products, friendly budtenders, and decent prices!
So it was really weird when I finally got to Indiana. This state, surrounded on all sides with states where herb is legal, is totally illegal, including medical. The billboards were mostly for herb in nearby Michigan! More bullshit but I’ll keep my stash hidden!
The campground reminds me of a out-of-phase version of a KOA. And nobody seems to have a dog. After that and the whole hoo-ha with weed, I think this might be a slightly alternate universe! Or maybe a counterclockwise energy vortex? Perhaps just slightly phase-shifted – yeah – that’s it!
This part of the Lake Michigan shore is a mix of huge lakeside steel plants, housing developments, pretty farmland and both a state and national park. They are all mixed up to make matters even more interesting. And to put it over the top it appears that Indiana is also phase shifted like everything else.
And here’s why – this corner of Indiana is in a different time zone than the rest of the state. I guess to make it align with Chicago. That confirms the phase shift and…
Why everything seems off 😵💫
We spent the morning getting lost trying to figure out what was what. It boils down to a bunch of very busy beaches, trails all over the sand dunes, and a mix of seriously heavy industry (Steel Mills), farmland, and quaint residential areas. The State Park is in the middle of the National Park to make it even more confusing, and they charged me $20 to get in.
The State Park was like a boardwalk with a nice looking restaurant. It was getting crowded already when I left around 8AM. The first stop in the National Park was interesting.
This was a reclaimed dump! It stands right next to a gigantic, operational steel mill. Amazing! It apparently involved a massive cleanup. Good job, I would say, albeit a bit weird (says the guy with a launch pad just north of his house).
Next stop – West Beach. After a short, beautiful walk to the packed beach!
The final part of the trip was a 15 mph drive through Beverly Shores. The shoreline area is part of the National Park – everywhere else is not. Can’t imagine how you would find a place to park. The beaches looked very nice.
At one point you pass by a half dozen restored houses built for a World’s Fair in the 1930s. The Florida House was my favorite!
After getting turned around one final time, we called it quits and headed back, however mysterious it was, to the campground. I am glad we made this a stop along the way, mostly because it allowed me to see what this area and the people who visit here are like (phase-shifted and all).
The dunes are quite beautiful, and my only regret is not being able to explore them. I had a hard enough time on the flat sand I had to walk on. It would have been cool to scramble up a dune. Ah, the days of my youth!
I decided to add a small detour to our travel plans to take us into Michigan. When we finally get to Ohio, Jake will have been in every one of the 48 contiguous states! Quite an accomplishment for a person, much less a puppy dog!
Dayton, OH
Day 62, 63 & 64
Today marks two months out!
Dayton has some deep roots in my past, at least I think it does. I was around, you see, but not quite born yet! I came across this picture after moving back to Florida. It shows Dad in a house he was living in in Dayton (or is it Akron?) in June of 1955. I was born two months later in Alamogordo, New Mexico. Dad was married to Mom, and I assume this was a last photo before they moved. Maybe she took the picture. I know they were married 10 months earlier, and I was conceived at Thanksgiving at Dad’s parents in Gate City, Virginia.
I had always assumed that after they met in Fall of 1953 to the time they married in late July 1954 they were doing a long distance relationship and then Mom moved here in August of 1954 – a year before I was born. Dad had joined Goodyear Aircraft a year before they got married and was working on the Matador rocket, the first cruise missile, which was tested at White Sands. I expect he spent a lot of time there going back and forth.
Regardless, Dayton has a long history in the development of manned flight and is home to the granddaddy air museum of them all.
🇺🇸 National Museum of the United States Air Force 🇺🇸
Checking the route, I noticed that a negative energy vortex (aka Google Maps) is tugging at me to take a route through Indianapolis. This appears to be residual bullshit from ex-wife #3, Sugar Tits, who grew up in some fucking place north of Indy. No thanks! Instead, I choose a route through Fort Wayne. Fort Wayne is home to my favorite place to ride myself of cumbersome wads of cash – Sweetwater Music!
First stop in Michigan! From the visitor center, we ventured to the Land of Weed Stores just up the road and scored some most excellent product! Unbelievably inexpensive and no holds barred on dosage. My kind of place.
The drive took us on secondary roads through cornfields with lots of trucks. Reminded me of driving in rural Pennsylvania. The roads were better than the interstate, which is pretty well beat to shit.
We stopped at Sweetwater about halfway through. The place is huge, and there were a lot of people there. The receptionist, Angel, let me take Jake in as long as I promised to clean up if he took a dump! I managed to get a cable for my mood ring and take a quick stroll through the drum department. They had a huge cafeteria in the middle of it. Very impressive.
And finally to Ohio and Jake’s accomplishment!
After a resupply of the Excellent Adventure I leave Jake to snooze away the day while I visit the museum.
I managed to see all the hangers – it was a lot to take in. The museum highlights the men and women who serve with a particular emphasis on women.
I managed to find the Matador despite no one seeming to know waht it was! They told me the missle guys were not around so I left with as much knowledge as I came in with. It was cool to see it though.
The whole reason I wanted to come here (well, maybe the number one reason) was to see the XB-70. I was captivated my this aircraft when I was a young boy and it was built by North American who Dad worked for. There were only two built and only this one left.
The missile garden featured all of the early rockets, including the Atlas with a Mercury capsule fixed on top. Several of the hangers had elevated viewing of the whole hanger floor. Very impressive!
The other accomplishment for the day was a plan to get home! We are going to do The Big Drop down almost due south over three nights to Panama City for a stop at my favorite Gulf Shore getaway in Panama City. We leave tomorrow!
The Big Drop
Day 65, 66 & 67
The Big Drop will consist of three segments the progressively go deeper into the hot, boring South. Not my favorite place. Oh yeah, I live there too.
- Dayton to the Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky. Daniel Boone was my first hero at a tender young age.
- Daniel Boone National Forest to Chattanooga, Tennessee. We stayed here in 2024.
- Chattanooga, Tennessee to Montgomery, Alabama. I can’t recall driving part of this route before (I-59 to Birmingham), but after that, it’s time for bum-fuck boring Alabama.
After that an easy drive through more boring Alabama and North Florida.
Change My Mind
I somehow managed to bypass the construction in Dayton, and it was smooth-enough sailing to Cincinnati and across the bridge into Kentucky. The energy vortex burped a bit as we went through Cincinnati.
My first boss, Gary, went to graduate school here and literally taught me everything I knew about:
Digital Signal Analysis
You see, at the graduate school in Cincinnati, there was a Dr. David Brown who was one of the leading academics in my newly discovered speciality when I started graduate school in Seattle. He taught Gary everything he knew. Gary was from Seattle and wanted to return and was hired under the same contract I worked under as our System Administrator.
Gary would rave about this chili you could get in Cincinnati from a place called Skyline Chili. When he traveled back to Cincinnati from Seattle, he would be 5-pound buckets of it (frozen) to bring back. So the tug I felt was simply satisfied by a bowl of 3-way chili on spaghetti with grated cheese. Four-way adds the onions, but I didn’t want to risk onion burps the rest of the afternoon!
The rest of the trip was enjoyable, in the western part of the Appalachian Mountains. The campground was sweet, with a beautiful swimming pool that I had the pleasure of using all to myself! Aren’t I lucky?
Jake had his first barf-out of the trip tonight. It woke me up at midnight. I didn’t get much sleep after that.
Pretty drive through the mountains until major traffic in Chattanooga. I’ll take it! Another swimming pool too! Thunderstorms at dusk!
Last night on the road today, as we head back in time to the Central Time Zone just for yucks. Interestingly enough, before trains became a thing, every town kept its own time based on the position of the sun. So when you traveled to a new town, you really didn’t know what time it was until you got there! Didn’t work so well for trains that kept colliding because nobody really knew what time it was!
Things were not looking too bad until we got to Alabama, and the road went to shit. About the same as Ohio. Fortunately, once we got off the Interstate, the roads became much nicer, and the scenery was very pleasant.
Last night, right off I-20. Hot, hot, humid, thunderstorms. Yep, we’re back in the South!
Short trip to Panama City, Lisa + Dave & the Fabulous Girls!
Panama City, FL
Day 68 – 71
Almost home. Editorial edit added at the suggestion of Jake.
Great times including grilled Halibut and Salmon, Bertha Butt (one of the Butt sisters), Gravlax, Greek Warriors and Dead Lakes!
Home
Day 72
One more very long day’s drive home. Went by in a flash!
Back home!
72 nights and 10,025 miles.
Total now at 10 months and 46,306 miles!
Most Excellent!
The End!