2024 Excellent Adventure Launch

After a slight delay due to a major Oh-Shit, the Starship Excellent Adventure launches on the fourth installment of Jake & Eddie’s Excellent Adventure!

First Stop – Krystal

Many years ago, when I was but a pup, there was a Krystal Hamburger store in Cocoa Beach. The Krystal Experience, as I like to call it, is burned into my engrams. Originally, there was a counter where you could order food. Our mailman would eat breakfast there. You see, back in the 1960s, Krystal was well-known for their waffles!

He was a tank driver in the military. He told us how he would file down slugs and use them to buy cigarettes (I tried it later with no luck)! When we had our car accident at Third and Orlando, our car hit his Volkswagen Beetle and pushed it into the storefront of a cafe that was there (no one was hurt). These memories seem like a dream now. Maybe I made the whole thing up!

60+ Years of Krystal

Regardless, I always loved their crappy, grease-soaked hamburgers dripping with onions, mustard, and pickle slices on a square, fluffy white bread roll. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it ~ indeed. It’s been my tradition when traveling the lower part of Georgia to always get me a sackful! Yum πŸ˜‹.

Jake’s collection of puppys for the trip! Dino (from 2021) and Red (from 2022). Sluggo (from 2023) not shown. Plus his fav’s Santa Chop!

Cordele ~ Georgia

After a completely uneventful, mind-numbing drive north on I-75, we arrive at our first stop in bumfuck, Georgia. It thunderstormed all afternoon β›ˆοΈ.

Cordele Georgia or thereabouts 🀩

We left early, heading towards the dreaded Atlanta, the semi-truck capital of the South. After a short race on the USA’s largest raceway (aka I-285), we headed west on I-20 towards Birmingham. Then we took the backroads through northwestern Georgia, passing through Rome, to finally arrive at our next stop.

Leave It To Beaver

All Hail Mighty Beaver

In the book I recently read, Termination Shock, one of the main characters, T.R., is an oil billionaire who made his money off building enormous gas stations with dozens of pumps and a giant store to help travelers get rid of those cumbersome wads of cash (or more likely debit cards). He repents his sins of contributing to global heating now that his hometown, Houston, quickly going underwater by building a contraption to shoot sulfur into the upper atmosphere to cool the planet down.

All Hail Mighty Beaver. May the Beaver never go hungry! How fucking embarrassing is this stupid sign? For Spaghetti-Monster sake you mindless nitwits!

While this might just be a story, the gas stations are real – and called Buc-ees. Their mascot is a Beaver. Go figure.

Lookout $$$ Mountain

Lookout Mountain KOA

Our stop for the evening was near Trenton, Georgia. It is a very nice campground secluded in the rolling hills near the Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee state lines.

Lookout Mountain KOA campground
Lookout Mountain area – beautiful views but hard to find because of all the damn trees 🌲🀣.

We took a frustrating drive through Lookout Mountain, looking for some views of the sunrise the following day. The only good view was on a section of the road up the ridgeway with no places to stop! We finally got to Rock City, expecting to see the views. They are there. They cost $31.

😳

It reminded me of New York State on our 2022 trips. All the good views cost money, and capitalism coexists with Mother Nature! You have to love it! Or maybe not 😩.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

In the morning, we head from Chattanooga towards Nashville and then up to Mammoth Caves.

Tennessee Valley Rest Area – a river that is now a lake.

Whenever I see the Tennessee River reservoirs made during the 1930s by damming the river, I always think of the fantastic Coen Brothers movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Over 100,000 people were displaced when the dams were built. In the movie, the valley is flooded right before the trio – Pete, Delmar, and leader Ulysses Everett McGill – are to be hanged, thereby saving the proverbial day! Classic!

Booze It and Lose It in Tennessee!

I generally try to avoid going through the city. My RV safe navigator told me to give it a try. What the hell – what could possibly happen?

Power Lines with Nashville in the background. More crumbling infrastructure. Yee-haw!

I managed to get through with a moderate amount of frustration. One guy honked and gave me a thumbs-up, and another flipped me off for pulling in front of him 😎.

Guns and Ammo – Lots of signs like this. Hell, yes, I need more guns and ammo! Gotta get me a Libtard! Others told me I was going to burn in Hellβ€”more performative warfare on display.

We arrive in the early afternoon. The campground is on the hill overlooking the Interstate on one side and this one on the other:

Horse Cave – looking west

One out of two isn’t bad at all!

Tomorrow: Jake gets to stay home while I explore Mammoth Caves.

Author: Eddie Tubridy

Eddie ! He's Just This Guy ~ You Know?